ESPN is reporting that USC head coach Pete Carroll is interested in the Atlanta Falcon’s vacant head coaching position and is expected to speak with owner Arthur Blank via phone today.

Why in the world would Carroll leave USC? He’s developed a powerhouse program at Southern California, compiling a 76-14 record and two national championships in his seven seasons. He’s got a cush job at a school that would bend over backwards for his every whim, provided he keeps the wins rolling in. He’s the toast of the town and can do absolutely no wrong. His job is virtually bulletproof.

So why would Carroll leave? Well, it’s rumored that Blank would give him compete control of personnel decisions.

You can bet your sweet bippy that the next Ravens coach won’t have that kind of control over the direction of the organization.

Jeffri Chadiha of ESPN.com picked MVPs for each of the 32 NFL teams.  I honestly can’t find anything wrong with his choices for the AFC North:

Pittsburgh: Ben Roethlisberger, QB. After an injury-plagued, error-filled 2006 campaign, Big Ben has proven that his troubles are behind him. He’s going to his first Pro Bowl because he has shown that he can handle an offense built around his strengths.

Cleveland: Derek Anderson, QB. All you have to know about Anderson is that Browns general manager Phil Savage said he “saved our season.” Anderson also happens to be the most improved player in the NFL.

Cincinnati: T.J. Houshmandzadeh, WR. There haven’t been many positives for the Bengals this season. Houshmandzadeh’s career-high and league-best 103 receptions (through 15 games) — along with his first Pro Bowl appearance — qualifies as one of the few.

Baltimore: Ed Reed, FS. He’s still the best playmaking safety in the NFL.

When you take in to account that Reed’s playmaking ability has been stripped away to help with the patchwork secondary, his season has been pretty darn remarkable.

Len Pasquarelli of ESPN is reporting that Ravens CB Samari Rolle’s “undisclosed” illness is epilepsy.

Baltimore Ravens cornerback Samari Rolle on Wednesday identified the previously undisclosed illness that has caused him to miss six games this season, and hospitalized him for a short time, as epilepsy.

“I’ve heard all kind of rumors of what I had,” Rolle told The Baltimore Sun after the team’s Wednesday afternoon practice. “It’s been hard on my wife and my family. I’m just happy to be back playing.”

Rolle said he has suffered three seizures this season and believes that he may actually have suffered fewer serious seizures over the past 2½ years.

Epilepsy is a neurological condition which can be related to brain injury or family tendency, but in many cases the cause is unknown. Seizures can vary in intensity and severity based on the individual case. There is an increasing range of medical options to treat the disorder.

It is not known exactly when Rolle, 31, was diagnosed.

As an aside, I like to bag on the Sun from time to time for whatever reason. I would like to say for the record that the Sun did an excellent job of keeping Rolle’s illness away from the general public until Rolle was ready to come forward. It shows a lot of integrity on the part of the Sun staff. Hats off, guys.

And to Rolle — hang in there. While we missed you when you were playing, I’m just glad that you’re okay.

Edit: Jamison Hensley of the Sun has the piece up on the B’more Sun website. It’s an excellent and well put together read. I highly recommend reading it over Len Pasquarelli’s write-up for more in-depth information, background, et cetera.

From the Sun story:

He [Rolle] acknowledged the 2006 season was the worst of his NFL career. He got beat deep in several games, causing many fans and media members to call him the weak link of the defense.

…

After using the past two weeks to correct his medication, Rolle is ready to play again for a Ravens team that has lost four straight games and has a slim hope of making the playoffs.

“I’m very excited. The season hasn’t gone like we wanted it, and most people ask me, ‘Why are you coming back? You’re 4-6.’ ” he said. “These are my teammates and I love playing. It’s time to come back. I can play, I can continue to play, and I can do so as long as I’m healthy.”

I’ll admit — I was one of those critics. To find out that it was epilepsy the whole time sure makes me feel horrible. If you’re at the next home game (vs. Patriots, 12/3/07), make sure to cheer your ass off for Rolle. He deserves it — he’s a gamer.

Well, it just got a lot easier to be Brian Billick.

Thanks to ESPN’s bottom line (okay, really you should thank the UCLA hoops game on the deuce), I was informed by the lovely text crawl that Kyle Boller was named starter for Sunday’s game vs. Cleveland. I lept off the couch, did a happy dance, and ran in to my office to post the news.

Obviously, I’m not a big fan of any player getting injured — especially when that player is as classy as Air McNair — but I can’t help but think that McNair’s injury forced Billick to start Boller. Yes, I honestly feel that Billick would have started McNair if he could have. Deep down, I could hear Billick justifying starting McNair while staring in his bathroom mirror… “I feel Steve gives us the best chance to win.”

I headed over to the Sun’s web site to see if Mike Preston had blown a gasket over the news and read a Jamison Hensley story about McNair being out 2-3 weeks with his shoulder injury instead. McNair’s injury was announced on Billick’s weekly radio show as a partial dislocation of his non-throwing shoulder.  Preston will have something up soon, I’d imagine…

“Obviously, Kyle is cranked up and ready to go,” Billick said.

Cranked up? Did he just leave Tara Reid’s house?

Troy’s Turn?

The Sun article had an interesting blurb at the tail end:

With Boller becoming the starter, rookie fifth-round pick Troy Smith now becomes the backup. Last season’s Heisman Trophy winner has yet to take a snap during the regular season.

“That’s going to be a fun challenge for Troy, because now he’s been around enough,” Billick said. “The focus and attention that he brings to [preparing] is heightened.”

Because Smith is the second quarterback (the No. 3 essentially can’t play the first three quarters unless the top two quarterbacks are injured), Billick speculated that Smith could be put into some specialty packages to take advantage of his athleticism.

“You don’t want to tip your hand, but there are some things that you could do with Troy in that capacity because of his abilities to run the ball and do some of those things,” Billick said.

The idea of putting in Smith for some “specialty packages” (read: ooh! gadgety trick plays!) is dumb. I’m sorry, but the one trick play we tried earlier this year was downright embarrassing. Let’s leave the cutesy stuff to the Chargers…

As for Troy getting some NFL experience… if Boller gets his body rocked with the young offensive line, Smith may just get his shot after all.

Now we should be worried: ESPN’s ‘experts’ unanimously picked the Ravens to defeat the Rams in Week 6.

Even the freakin’ ESPN Accuscore Game Forecast has the Ravens beating the Rams. If ESPN’s version of HAL9000 can pick the Ravens, certainly a squad of ‘experts’ can, too!

Among those picking the Ravens:
Wickersham, Salisbury, Hoge, Jaws, Schlereth, Mortensen, Golic.

The Madden 08 Game Forecast, on the other hand, wasn’t so kind. It picked the Rams to win 37-3. ESPN even wrote up a fictional game recap of the vicious prison rape:

While it is too early to call it the return of the greatest show on turf, the St. Louis Rams are undoubtedly moving in the right direction. Behind their best offensive performance of the season, the Rams cruised past the Ravens, 37-3, at M&T Bank Stadium. In a game in which everything seemingly went its way, St. Louis took advantage of a muffed punt return late in the fourth quarter. With just over a minute remaining in the game and holding a 30-3 lead, Rams quarterback Gus Frerotte hit wide receiver Drew Bennett on a timing route for a 2-yard touchdown pass to put the Rams on top 37-3.

Frerotte threw for 276 yards and three touchdowns to offset his two interceptions. Wide receiver Torry Holt had his best game of the season reeling in 110 yards on nine receptions, including a 5-yard touchdown. As running back Steven Jackson continues to be sidelined, Brian Leonard filled in admirably with 91 yards on the ground and a touchdown. The Rams’ defense limited the Ravens to a field goal and 273 total yards on offense.

I hate the pre-season.  We haven’t had an opening kickoff and ESPN, CBS Sportsline and all of the other media outlets have already started to pontificate as to who the best team will be.

Unamimously, it seems, the Patriots are that team.  Just read this puff-piece the clowns at the Worldwide Bleeder wrote about their beloved New England Patriots:

Maybe it’s the acquisition of Randy Moss, Adalius Thomas and others in a surprisingly active offseason. Maybe it’s the proven leadership of Tom Brady. Or maybe it’s just that the Patriots are due, having failed to reach the Super Bowl the past two seasons, an eternity in the Bill Belichick era.

No matter the reason, the Patriots will enter 2007 wearing the label as the NFL’s best team. In the balloting for our preseason power rankings, each of the voters put the Pats atop his respective list, a clear indication that mercurial Moss is expected to toe the line (or at least minimize his distractions) under Belichick.

Aw.  How touching!

I can’t believe I’m about to do this… but shouldn’t the Colts be the #1 team?  I mean, shit, they just came off winning the freakin’ Super Bowl.  Every time I’ve ever seen power rankings before a season starts, it’s the champs on top until someone can knock them off.  As much as it pains me to say it, the Colts should be #1.  The Patriots should be #2.  Once the season starts, if ESPN, CBS Sportsline, Scouts, Fox Sports, et cetera want to crown the Patriots the best team in the known universe, that’s fine.

But at least show a little respect to the champs.

Anyway, I digress.  I just needed to get that off my chest.  Here’s what ESPN had to say about the Ravens:

Besides having younger legs at RB (Willis McGahee), the Ravens have loads of experience. But the flip side of being a veteran team is being an injury-prone one. Which way that pendulum swings might determine their fate.

I can’t really argue with that.  However, it’s worth nothing that the Ravens have so much depth it’s not even funny.  Should injury hit… Next Man Up!

ESPN and Scouts, Inc. have a really neat feature about each team’s “go-to” play. For the Ravens, not surprisingly, it’s a blitz from Bart Scott:

On this play, Baltimore exploits an offense’s concerns about perimeter pressure with Bart Scott’s (57) explosiveness. At the snap, NT Kelly Gregg (97) knifes into the A gap between the center and left guard, drawing a double-team, while DT Haloti Ngata (92) engages the LT. DE Terrell Suggs (55) bolts around the left corner, forcing the FB to step outside. Jackpot: The middle is open. Scott has less than two seconds to decide if a delayed blitz up the gut is the right move. Chances are, it is.

I bet Rex Ryan saw this online and had a good laugh — there’s no way mere mortals could understand his schemes and blitz packages.

The buzz in St. Louis is certainly (and rightfully) being ripped away from the Cardinals and focused on a former Cardinal (of the football variety), Roger Wehrli, who is one of the newest members of the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Not one to miss out on ruining any milestone or event (did Barry Bonds ever get Pedro Gomez out of his colon?), ESPN, in their infinite wisdom, decided to forecast which current NFL players would make it into the Hall of Fame. You gotta f*cking hate love Page 2!

Well, Ray Lewis made the list at #5, right behind (in order) Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Larry Allen.

Lewis will be remembered as the dominant force on one of the most dominant defenses in NFL history: the 2000 Ravens defense which allowed the fewest points over a 16-game season. Lewis, the league’s Defensive Player of the Year in 2000, has been a disruptive force since entering the league in 1996, and at 31, he appears to have a lot left in the tank. He recorded 103 tackles last season and remains the emotional leader of a defense that still ranks among the league’s best.

Coming in at #7 (the bread on a Richard Seymour sammich) is Jonathan Ogden:

Ray Lewis is the Ravens’ most recognizable player, but Ogden has been in Baltimore just as long and arguably has been just as valuable. While the Ravens have struggled to pass effectively during much of Ogden’s tenure, the team has relied on him to clear holes for the running game. In 2003, Ogden anchored an offensive line that helped Jamal Lewis rush for 2,066 yards. Ogden’s résumé is highlighted by a Super Bowl ring and 10 Pro Bowl selections.

Other notables include Steroids Merriman (#21), ESPN Favorite Troy Polamalu (#31), Ed Reed (#33 — how Polamalu got ahead of Reed is anyone’s guess… oh, wait, ESPN. Check), Reggie Bush (#34 - he’s played ONE F*CKING SEASON!), Vince Young (#39 - again, he’s started 13 F*CKING GAMES!), Calvin Johnson (#40 - HE HASN’T EVEN PLAYED ONE F*CKING GAME!!!!), Hines Ward (#43), Chad Johnson (#44), Larry Johnson (#47), Steven Jackson (#48) and Adrian Peterson (#50 - GIVE ME A BREAK! ANOTHER PLAYER WHO HASN’T PLAYED A F*CKING SNAP IN THE NFL!).

I just don’t get it.

(Warning: I’m about to defend division rivals. Turn away!)

Hines Ward and Chad Johnson have actually played in the NFL. They’ve produced. They have a track record. Calvin Johnson and Adrian Peterson haven’t taken a live snap in a real, honest-to-goodness NFL game.

ESPN: Please, pull your head out of your ass. Your defense of these ratings is laughable. Case in point, Steve McNair, who you list as “on the bubble”:

McNair probably needs a Super Bowl ring to punch his ticket to Canton. He was named co-MVP in 2003, to his credit, and led the Titans to the Super Bowl after the 1999 season — infamously coming up 1 yard short of a chance to send the game to overtime. But with McNair’s best years behind him, the 34-year-old’s overall body of work, as it stands right now, isn’t Hall of Fame material.

He needs a Super Bowl ring to be in the Hall of Fame? Hey, that’s something that Calvin Johnson and Adrian Peterson haven’t even had a chance to earn yet!

It’s insane to think that McNair’s apprentice, Vince Young (#39), has a better chance RIGHT NOW than Air McNair of making it to Canton. How is that even possible?

Just when I think ESPN has hit rock bottom, they pull out the crap on Page 2…